Flashlights, Sex Toys and The TSA

January 22, 2010 at 10:54 am 3 comments

Here is a funny anecdote that happened at the CVG Checkpoint. It was a busy Monday morning and like many, the security line was going up the escalator and down the street. People both screeners and passenger were grumpy and in a hurry. It happened on lane 5 when the x-ray operator called for a “bag check”. She told the bag checker there was an item which she could not make out. So as normal the screener ask the passenger if this was her bag. It was a women in her thirties, her face turned bright red. The screener gave his normal speech about not touching the bag and if she had anything sharp or pointy which may cut him. She said no and the search began. The screener open the bag which was really cluttered and pulled out the offending item, a sex toy of unspeakable complexity. This thing had more functions and buttons than your T.V. Remote. Here is where it gets funny. The poor screener thought it was a flashlight and asked the passenger how to turn it on. Everyone in line were smiling and chuckling and then it happened. He switched the device on and it started going nuts. He dropped it on the table and there it was spinning vibrating and lighting up. Everyone in line broke out in laughter. The woman looked like she wanted to run for it but couldn’t. The screener finally realized what it was and turned it off. He then apologized, repacked her bag and sent her on her way. But the damage had already been done and will always be one of the funniest things to have happened at the checkpoint. So the lesson learned here is the next time you want to bring “Captain Winky” on vacation, pack it in you checked luggage.


Entry filed under: Bag Check.

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Grace  |  January 23, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    I always think about buying a sex toy and lugging it around with me just in case I get a bag check.

    Maybe one of these days I will.

    • 2. sean5294  |  January 24, 2010 at 7:19 am

      It’s funny because it happens all the time. Most of the time you can here it vibrating in a persons bag.

  • 3. Thecardsmayfallsoonerthantheythink  |  April 5, 2010 at 7:58 am

    I had to share this with all of you. I was on Xray earlier today, a lady who was around 70ish came through, had “Thunder Beads” and what appeared to be at least, a 12″ vibrator!! LMAO! I hate doing this but most of us can’t help doing this, I turned around and looked at her, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “How the hell do you think most people my age entertain ourselves on slow weekends?” I probably turned redder than she EVER would have!!


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Sean Langdon

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